My camellia friend
Constructing identity on social media
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When I was at the height of my improv career in Atlanta, I spent a lot of time promoting my shows on Facebook and Instagram. This was during what I would consider the heyday of Facebook events, so I was constantly inviting people to shows and receiving invitations. I was very open to new connections at this time since I had a lot to promote, so I followed people on Instagram and friend requested them on Facebook. And even though I’m no longer a part of the creative scene in Atlanta now, my social media life is still dominated by people from that era since I no longer seek out as many online relationships.
At some point during my self promotion phase, I became burned out on consuming so much information on social media and started questioning whether what I was putting out into the world was worthy of people’s attention. I wrote a blog post about this in 2019, and looking back now, I realize part of the discomfort I was facing was that I was going through a personal transformation that necessitated changing how I showed up online. I went from being a person who posted consistently about shows to someone who posted about cemeteries and flowers. That is what people know me for now.
Sometimes my social media feed feels like a vestige of a past life since there are so many people on there I no longer have any relationship with IRL. With that said, there are also people who I didn’t know particularly well who I now feel closer to because I enjoy what they choose to share online. My camellia friend is one of those people.
I think we were in some improv shows together back in the day, but I don’t recall ever hanging out just the two of us. She’s not in my phone as a contact. Still, we have bonded on Instagram over shared interests in Cincinnati, Oakland Cemetery, and flowers. She has some lovely old growth camellias in her yard, and it makes me so happy every year when she posts photos of them blooming.
My sister loves posting photos of castles and coffee. I have a friend, a fellow Oakland Cemetery volunteer, who posts about the history of that organization and makes me feel like I’m part of a grand tradition by volunteering.
There are people I don’t know well offline, but who I admire because they’re willing to share the difficulties they face. I respect people who are outspoken about social and political issues that mean the most to them. If nothing else, my social media feed shows me how many ways there are to show up online.
Earlier this week, I posed a question inspired by Brianna Wiest asking: what would you do with your life if social media didn’t exist?
Now, I’m wondering, how do you think your identity has been shaped by the fact that social media does exist? Are you who you are because of what you post? Or do you post because of who you are?
This week’s Photo-synthesis
A camellia.
Wow, this is so interesting to think about. I definitely agree with the fact that it also can feel like seeing your past lives on social media, especially when I see the people I used to work with and realize life goes on when you move on!
A compelling set of questions! I guess, though I do enjoy when time permits -- as it rarely does: kid, wife, cat -- scrolling through old posts from the days when we ran Carapace and were more active generally in social life offline. Recently, apart from Instagram posts (kid, wife, cat mostly; some food), I'm offering links to my writing, having given up the "submissions" game in that realm -- and submitting in most other contexts! As for the matter of who I "am," or who anybody "is" ... identity seems way too fluid to be called by that name at all, or to submit (!) to static verbs like "is" or "am." And then whatever it "was" dissolves and we don't have to think about the subject anymore, having joined the residents of Oakland Cemetery or some other one, pushing up camellias.